i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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