i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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