Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
