you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
