Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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