Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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