I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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