Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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