When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We need a shit load of segways right now
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
