his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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