The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Randomize
