great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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