I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
be right there i have to get my cape
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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