summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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