I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
