So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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