k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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