So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
