Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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