no, he came in my armpit
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
