oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
