a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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