yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
