Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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