Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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