someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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