the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
