her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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