Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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