You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
