my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You're like the curious george of whores
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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