: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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