Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
