Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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