Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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