i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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