ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just blew my weed a kiss
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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