Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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