I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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