EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
high people should be assigned attendants
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize