he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
