1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
