last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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