i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
