I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
