Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
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We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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