pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize