I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
