She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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