Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
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We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
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Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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