i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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