i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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