forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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