Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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