Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He keeps bees of course he's weird
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
