I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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