YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
