it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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