Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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