Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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