Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
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He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
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maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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