well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
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Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
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Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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