He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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